Happiness.

I’ve recently been asked to contribute to a podcast about happy moments. The brief sounded simple enough- tell a story about a moment in time that made you happy. You’d think that for a person who finds herself very happy in life, the hard bit would be to choose which moment in my life made me feel true happiness and talk about it for a bit, but I found the exact opposite to be true.

I am happy. Not every single second of every single day, but generally speaking, I am very happy. I find joy in my daily being, I find joy in those around me, and I find particular joy in overcoming small daily-life battles.

I am happy because I’ve achieved things I didn’t think I was strong enough to achieve or have the balls to go and do. I am happy because I am raising a funny AF daughter. I am happy because of my dog Harley’s recent rebrand to ‘Dragon’, and there is literally nothing funnier to me than calling out for Dragon in the park and a King Charles Cavalier with a cone of shame comes running. I am happy because I won a battle with Together Energy when they said I owe them a bunch of money, but when I went all Lina on them, turned out they owe me a bunch more. I am happy because I find myself in long extensive discussions about AC units, installation processes and model functionality, and I don’t own or plan to own an AC any time soon. Because a friend texts me ‘cunt’ as a morning greeting, every morning. Because I am living life on my schedule, to T&Cs I wrote, and I’m pretty sure I’m bossing it.

I am happiest when I dance to Wham in my friends’ kitchens. When my almost 5-year-old finds a new way to call me out and I have to do everything in my power not to laugh and crown her the Shade Queen. When I outswim my local pool arch-nemesis- a guy who’s entirely self-unaware, has a pretty impressive collection of white Speedos; and really should consider getting a wax.
When I argue with my dad about politics or music, and his clear cheating tactics in every board game played during The Great Quarantine.

I am happy because I really really get on with my neighbours. Because I enjoy my work. Because my kid couldn’t ask for more. Because I love my relationships with parents, my friends, and even the occasional Fuck Boy, who at the very least keeps things interesting.

But none of these constitutes a single ‘happy moment’ story. All my best stories are of the ‘shit that’s gone wrong’ variety. Not necessarily because my happy stories are not worthy, but they’re certainly not as funny or interesting.

A story of the ‘happy’ kind feels like it has to be about a special occasion or include loved ones sentimentally. Like if I had to tell a single story of my happiness it should probably be about the day my daughter was born and how magical the experience was. How I looked at her and finally realised what true love was. And while I did love her immediately, I think the best part of the birth story is when the nurse handed me a water-filled frozen glove and told me to break off a finger at a time and shove it in my vagina to help with soreness.

Is an unspoken battle with a mum at pre-school a happy moment? It makes me happy to know I am right and she’s an asshole. Who doesn’t like to be proven right? Who doesn’t like to be seen as a bigger person in some nonsense non-existent beef? I do. It makes me happy to come out on top in a space that literally does not matter. It’s funny because it’s nonsense. And while it is an absolute moment of delight, would it constitute my top 5 happiest moments of all time? No. because those are meant to be serious and meaningful. And I’m not entirely sure I am that person. In that, I am deep and meaningful and emotional and find joy in birds and flowers and Hachi. I’m just not sure telling a sappy happy moment is on-brand. My street credibility might take a hit if I go on about how seeing two baby Magpies learning to fly in the park nearly made me cry.

Subscribe to Moments by The Airing Cupboard wherever you usually listen to your podcasts to listen to my happy moment.

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